However, the desire for wealth can be insatiable. Ben Zoma challenges this by redefining wealth as finding joy and contentment in one’s current circumstances. This doesn’t mean complacency or lack of ambition, but rather an appreciation for what one already has. The prooftext from Psalms emphasizes the connection between happiness and prosperity, suggesting that true wealth is found in a sense of fulfillment and happiness, both in this world and in the World to Come. This statement challenges the common assumption that wealth is measured solely by material possessions, encouraging a more holistic view of abundance.
Who is he that is honored? He who honors his fellow human beings as it is said: âFor I honor those that honor Me, but those who spurn Me shall be dishonoredâ (I Samuel 2:30).
This final statement focuses on the importance of interpersonal relationships and mutual respect. Ben Zoma suggests that true honor comes not from seeking recognition for oneself, but rather from showing respect and appreciation for others. This selfless approach to honor is supported by the prooftext from Samuel, which emphasizes the reciprocal nature of honor: those who honor others will themselves be honored. By prioritizing the dignity and worth of every individual, we cultivate a culture of respect and honor that benefits everyone involved.
Ben Zoma’s teachings offer a profound challenge to common assumptions about wisdom, strength, wealth, and honor. By reframing these virtues as attainable through personal agency, internal transformation, contentment, and mutual respect, Ben Zoma encourages us to cultivate a deeper understanding of what it means to truly excel in these areas. In a world that often measures success by external markers, Ben Zoma reminds us that true wisdom, strength, wealth, and honor come from within.
One of the dangers in the pursuit of money, writes Abarbanel, is that it does not have the same limitations. There is no biological principle that automatically limits the desire to amass more money.
Yet money does not necessarily buy happiness. The psychological literature on the topic is nuanced and complex. Money and happiness are correlated, but only to a certain extent. People who do not have enough money to meet their basic needs tend not to experience as much happiness as those who are fortunate to have the requisite funds. When analyzing the data related to accumulating money above that baseline quantity, some studies indicate that there is no correlation to happiness, and others indicate that more money can lead to more happiness. Some resolve the debate by suggesting that the happiness level depends on what a person spends his or her money on. Buying gifts for others or investing in meaningful experiences tend to lead to increased happiness. Relatedly, in his commentary on this Mishna, Mirkevet HaMishna suggests that happiness comes from spending money on spiritual pursuits.
Ben Zoma contends that feelings of wealth are subjective to being content and satisfied with one’s portion. Psychologist Barry Schwartz distinguishes between maximizers and satisfiers. Maximizers want the most of everything and want to make the best choices, while satisfiers are happy with “good enough.” Echoing the wisdom of Ben Zoma, it is the satisfiers who tend to be the happiest.
What does it mean to rejoice in “his lot?” Most commentaries assume that it means to rejoice in the portion that G-d grants the person. Alternatively, perhaps the emphasis is on rejoicing in what the person earns and creates. This is indicated in the choice of prooftext, which mentions enjoying “the fruit of your labors.” This relates to the concept deemed the “Ikea effect,” where people value and enjoy the products they created themselves. Ben Zoma is teaching us to savor and enjoy the products of our own labor.
Who is he that is honored? He who honors his fellow human beings as it is said: “For I honor those that honor Me, but those who spurn Me shall be dishonored” (I Samuel 2:30).
Honor comes by giving it to others. The way we treat and respect others will be the ultimate indicator of whether we deserve honor. This requires humility and a mindset that looks for greatness in others. Utilizing the concept of social comparisons, Abarbanel recommends finding others who are better than we are and honoring them for those strengths.
As Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski writes, the only way for me to psychologically allow myself to honor you is if I have a sense of self-esteem and self-respect. He writes that “A person with good self-respect is not dependent on others to honor him. In fact, he is very comfortable in honoring others, and this does not pose any threat to his self-esteem.” Without these, my defense mechanisms would not allow me to defer to the other and would make it more likely that I would pursue honor directly, which would likely backfire.
Even though the personal pursuit of honor is discouraged, providing it for others is valued. This is part of a broader paradox described by Rabbi Israel Salanter where we are encouraged to provide delicacies and luxuries for others that we should otherwise shun for personal use. To borrow 20th-century Jewish philosopher Emmanuel Levinas’ term, there is an “asymmetry” to how we are called on to relate to others. It is not about treating the other like the self, but rather treating the other higher than the self.
In sum, these four counterintuitive messages encourage us to avoid vices by turning them into virtues. Instead of focusing on social comparisons to bring us into a competitive spirit with others, we should focus on our own internal growth and development. This shift in perspective allows us to convert desires that often lead to disharmony into ones that promote prosocial behavior and unity.