Sensitivity Training

Act of Kindness: A Lesson in Chesed

And it will be that the maiden …. who will say, “Drink and I will also water your camels,” it is her You have designated for Your servant …” (Bereishis 24:14)

Rashi comments that her deed would determine that she was deserving of Yitzchak and worthy to be brought to the house of Avraham Avinu for she will perform acts of kindness.

The Be’er Mayim Chayim comments that there are two types of people who do chesed. One is a baal chesed who pursues poor individuals, reaches out to help them, and is sensitive to their needs. He looks for individuals whom he can help, with whom he can share his blessings in life. It is his mission in life, similar to a cow who longs to give its milk to the calf.

The second type of benevolent individual is described as a baal rachamim. He doesn’t seek out the downtrodden, but if he encounters such a person, he is merciful. He cannot bear to see the poor person’s suffering and is generous with him. But if he doesn’t know of the other’s suffering, he is not cognizant of the fact that there are needy people who may need his help.

There is a huge difference between these two. The baal chesed is proactive; he is passionate in his desire to make the other person comfortable, to ensure his wellbeing. The baal rachamim, on the other hand, is reactive. If someone in need crosses his path, he will extend a helping hand, but he will not seek out such an individual. In fact, he may avoid exposure to such individuals because it pains him too deeply to witness their poverty and hardship.

Avraham Avinu is renowned as the first baal chesed in the world. It is for this reason that Eliezer wanted to test Rivka, to see if she too was so good that she was worthy of joining the household of Avraham Avinu. He therefore said to her, “Please give me a little water.” She replied, “Drink, and I will also water your camels.” That was proof that she was a baal chesed, because she gave more than had been requested of her. A baal rachamim would merely have given Eliezer the water he had requested for himself.

True chesed is the ability to intuit when another person is in need and to be sensitive to his deprivation. The Nesivos Shalom says that when a human being sees a poor individual it tugs at his heartstrings. A thirsty animal, however, does not evoke the same compassion in a human being. Eliezer recognized that if Rivka would give the animals water it was a sign that she was a genuine baal chesed.

R’ Yechezkel Levenstein says that a person should strive for ahavas chesed – love of chesed, to seek to do good for others. Just like Torah study requires diligence, so too one must be diligent in seeking ways to benefit others. One cannot fulfill the mitzvah of gemilus chasadim, simply by being in contact with those in need. He must be driven by an inner yearning and a strong desire to do good for others, whether spiritually or materially. Furthermore, says R’ Levenstein, when one has such an inner desire, he reaches the level of “one who is merciful merits mercy from Heaven.”

The following was related by Rav Ayil Amrami. Every Friday, there is an individual who travels to the Kosel HaMaaravi and, after tefillas netz (morning prayer at sunrise), he distributes food and delicacies for Shabbos to people who are struggling financially. Each week’s consignments of food total about $30,000 – including challahs, drinks, cake, chicken, vegetables, and kugels.

One of the volunteers who assisted in this effort was totally committed to the cause. Although he was not a man of means, he had purchased a white Toyota Hilux pickup truck specifically to facilitate the transportation of all the food and for any other services that were needed for this enterprise.

A few weeks later, the volunteer’s daughter – who was not yet Shabbos observant – asked to borrow the truck in order to travel to Kibbutz Re’im for the Nova Festival, and her father readily gave her the keys.

In the predawn hours of Shabbos, when the terrorists reached the site of the festival, the bullets began to fly, unleashing panic and fear among the innocent attendees. The young girl ran hurriedly to her father’s Toyota, inviting another thirteen individuals to join her. They piled into the truck, and she began to drive at a steady pace to distance themselves from the melee. Oddly, the terrorists roving the road seemed unconcerned as the white truck drove by. Then, as some terrorists waved her on to proceed, she noticed an identical Toyota Hilux parked on the side of the road. Unlike all the other vehicles that tried to get through and were riddled with bullets, the young girl and her thirteen passengers passed through unharmed and safely reached the highway, deeply grateful to Hashem for His kindness.

The volunteer was later asked, “How did you know to buy precisely this vehicle?”

The man said, “The truck was purchased expressly for the purpose of doing chesed; I had absolutely no personal need for the truck myself. Indeed, as it says in Mishlei (10:2), ‘Charity rescues from death.’”