No Man Without A Woman, No Couple Without The Shechina

Our Sages teach throughout the Talmud, and in particular in Bereishit Rabbah, that a man is never truly complete without a woman to be his counterpart. Indeed, upon creating Adam, Hashem creates the woman to become “his helper opposite him” (Bereishit 2:18), and from that point forward their destinies are married together.

But Adam and Chava quickly, tragically deviate from the command of Hashem and bring much disaster into the world and upon their descendants. The Midrash teaches (see e.g., Bereishit Rabbah 19) that Avraham and Sarah come into the world to rectify the damage caused by these ancestors. In fact, that is given as one explanation for their interment in the same cavern where the bodies of Adam and Chava rested.

There are apocryphal sources that describe a period of separation between Adam and Chava during which time they took other partners. Avraham and Sarah, on the other hand never deviate from their commitment to one another, even when it becomes evident that Sarah cannot conceive children and in spite of the great value Avraham places in producing offspring. When Sarah finally decides to instruct Avraham to have a child with her handmaiden, Hagar, the language introducing this is tender and very touching. Repeatedly she urges him, “Please, please have a child with my handmaiden.” Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch explains that Sarah realizes that for his own sake Avraham would never do this deed and he would rather die childless than feel that he has been unfaithful to his beloved wife. But Sarah doesn’t want to live with the misery of feeling she is responsible for Avraham’s disappointment, so she pleads with him to do this thing – to fulfill his own wishes – for her sake. Rav Hirsch explains that this is the nature of the true love between a man and a woman – that each is wholly invested in the wellbeing of the other.

At the end of our parsha, Chayei Sarah, when Yitzchak marries Rivka, Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch uses this as a point of departure to discuss the nature of Jewish marriage and distinguish it from the idea of marriage in the secular world. Rav Hirsch says that outside of the Torah world, people are preoccupied with the notion of “love” preceding marriage, and they chase foolish infatuations and physical desires into unfortunate entanglements that only sow distress and dysfunction in their communities. But when Yitzchak marries Rivka, the Torah tells us that “Yitzchak took Rivka to be his wife, and he loved her” (Bereishit 24:67). The events are related in that order, because first Yitzchak identifies that Rivka is a suitable match for him (with help from Eliezer and Avraham, of course), then he makes her his wife, and then the love grows between them. Their love is true because it is predicated on a pure and holy bond between them, and it is established in a life that they share together. Only then, the Torah tells us, is Yitzchak consoled for the loss of his mother (ibid.).

The Torah tells us that Yitzchak brought Rivka into the tent of Sarah, and the Midrash teaches (Bereishit Rabbah 60) that various miracles that had accompanied the presence of Sarah were restored when Rivka entered the tent. Rabbi Yaakov Abuchatzera associates these miracles with the aforementioned rectification of Chava, as each one embodies a correction to one of the curses brought into the world with the punishment of Adam and Chava for their violation of the Divine commandment. These miracles can also be correlated with the core aspects of the Temple Service that would be established by their offspring in future generations, and from this we can learn the greatness of Sarah (and by extension, of Rivka).

Indeed, in the era that draws to a close with our parsha, when Avraham and Sarah were the only Jews, we find Avraham fulfilling the role of Moshe the Prophet and Sarah performing as Aharon the High Priest. The Alshich points out that the three miracles in the tent of Sarah also correspond to the three things that cause death in childbirth (according to Mishna Shabbat 2:6), suggesting that this too is an allegory for the transgression of Chava and its punishment. The miracles of the tent of Sarah were the blessing of her dough – correlating to the challah on Shabbat and the show bread in the Temple; the candles that remained lit from Friday evening until the following Friday, corresponding to the lighting of the Menorah; and the cloud that hovered over the tent’s opening, corresponding to the cloud over the Mishkan. Rabbi Abuchatzera also sees this cloud as a testament to the modesty of Sarah and a demonstration of her total purity and incorruptibility.

In the coming weeks, G-d-willing, we will examine the unique attributes and qualities of our other three matriarchs.