Q & A: A Mother’s Mitzvah (Part III)

Regenerate Indeed, we have seen, especially in these recent generations, that specifically when reaching out with love (as the pasuk in Mishlei (22:6) states, ‘Chanoch la’na’ar al pi darko” – teach the lad in the manner most suited him’), there the results have the greatest success.

“Similarly just as we have related insofar as chinuch, education in the performance of mitzvot in general, the same applies to the study of Torah: It is a positive Biblical precept for the father to teach his young son Torah [as we cited from the Gemara (Kiddushin 29a)], which is not so as regards the mother (see Rambam on the beginning of Hilchot Talmud Torah), who since she herself is not obligated in the mitzvah of Torah study, she is thus not obligated to teach Torah to her children.”

“Nevertheless,” continues the Rebbe, “if she helps her son or her husband with her physical and/or material involvement to ensure that they study Torah, she earns a portion of their merit, as the Gemara (Berachot 17a) states: ‘What is the great merit of women? That they bring their children to the synagogue and they await their husbands as they study.’”

Finally, the Rebbe cites the all-important fact that a child’s very Jewishness is determined by his mother. [This our Sages derive from the Torah in Parashat Va’et’chanan (Deuteronomy 7:3-4), which adjures in relation to the gentile nations: “Ve’lo titchaten bam, bit’cha lo titen li’vno, u’bito lo tikach l’vincha” – You shall not intermarry with them, you shall not give your daughter to his son, and you shall not take his daughter for your son; “ki yasir et bin’cha me’acharay, ve’avdu elohim acherim” – for he will cause your son to turn away from Me and they will worship the gods of others…” R. Yochanan in the name of Rabbi Shimon b. Yochai (Kiddushin 68b) expounds from these two verses that your son who comes from an Israelite woman is your son, while your son who comes from a gentile woman is not referred to as your son. Now who will cause whom to turn away from G-d? It is the gentile father who will cause your son – that is, the son of your daughter – to turn away from Me. Nevertheless he – your grandson – is referred to as your son.

Rashi and Tosafot have different perspectives on these verses, but either way it is clear that a son born of a Jewish woman takes on her Jewish status. The Rebbe writes, “If the mother is Jewish, then the son is also Jewish, and it matters not who the father is or in whatever situation the father finds himself [since the father is of no relevance in this matter].”

“From this,” the Rebbe concludes, “we see the great merit and responsibility that has been invested in the mother in relation to chinuch – education. This is a clear indication that as regards educating a child to be a [proper] Jew, it is dependent upon the mother.”

True, circumstances have left you in a difficult situation, but ultimately you are the one who is the greatest determining factor in raising your children as good, G-d-fearing Jews. May Hashem bless you in this lofty task and may we all merit the redemption with the arrival of Moshiach, speedily in our days.