Completing The Teshuva Process

“My anger will flare against it on that day and I will forsake them, and I will conceal My face from them, and they will become prey, and many evils and distresses will encounter it. It will say on that day: Is it not because Hashem is not in my midst that these evils have come upon me.” (Devarim 31:17)

Our sages note that there seems to be an appearance of teshuva having been done, as the pasuk states, “Is it not because Hashem is not in my midst that these evils have come ….” Why, then, is there hastaras panim, i.e. no revelation of Divine Providence, which indicates painful and troublesome times for the Jewish people?

The Ramban explains that their statement is not, in fact, viduy, a total confession (a required component for complete teshuva). It is merely an observation and an expression of regret that they have sinned. The confession of one’s sin with words – a necessary step in the teshuva process – has not been completed. As a result, they are not yet forgiven for sins like idol worship and the like, and therefore the Divine Providence is still concealed.

The Ramban expounds further that although the lack of a total confession inhibits complete teshuva, the regret for one’s sins is powerful enough to alleviate the severe punishment of “many evils and distresses,” but it will not completely eliminate the punishment.

The Mabit offers an interesting and novel interpretation in his Sefer Bais Elokim. If a person regrets his sin(s) but did not fulfill the component of teshuva which requires azivas hachet – making a sincere resolution never to repeat his sin – he has still implemented the beginning of the positive commandment (mitzvas asaeh) of doing teshuva, and that will be favorable for his atonement.

This is very heartening. It means that although the individual may not have successfully completed his teshuva process, every thought of regret that he has experienced helps to lighten his punishment and gives him additional merits.

Rabbeinu Yonah writes in Shaarei Teshuva that there are many, many levels of teshuva, each one elevating the individual to draw closer to Hashem. Additionally, every element of teshuva generates forgiveness, even if it is not sufficient to completely rectify the sin.

We learn in the Talmud (Kiddushin 49b) that if one asks a woman to marry him on the condition that he is a tsaddik, then even if he was a completely wicked person, the marriage is nevertheless valid. The reason given is because it is possible that as he walked down the aisle, he had thoughts of teshuva in his heart. Even though they were only thoughts, and he didn’t actually fulfill the various components that are required for complete teshuva, it is still considered as if he is a tsaddik. He will have to fulfill all the other steps in the teshuva process, though, in order to totally atone for his sins, including promising to never repeat the sins again. The uniqueness of this interpretation is that as soon as the individual has thoughts of teshuva and considers the possibility of changing his ways, he is already considered a tsaddik.

This is similar to our request in Shemoneh Esrei, where we ask, “and influence us to return in perfect repentance before You.” There is repentance that is incomplete, and there is absolute repentance. The first consists of mere thoughts of teshuva and a willingness to change. The second kind of teshuva actually completes all the necessary steps and actualizes the thoughts in speech and deed.

We have many opportunities in our life, on a personal level, to do teshuva, but we can also make a difference in the teshuva effort of others. The great Rabbi Avigdor Miller often noted that it is very possible that the reason one has merited to attain employment in a particular position is so that he can help a colleague who is not yet observant come closer to Hashem. Similarly, he said, one may find a house or an apartment so that he can have a positive influence on a neighbor to do teshuva. Our sages have suggested that the words recited by the chazzan on Friday night – He resurrects the dead with His words – can be understood to mean, as well, that one’s kind word to another individual can inspire that individual and revitalize him.

Not far from a yeshiva located in the suburbs of Yerushalayim, there was a small makolet (convenience store), owned by a friendly traditional Jew, Ofir. He loved the students of the yeshiva, respected them greatly, and always discounted their purchases. If a student was short of change, he would waive the outstanding balance.

One of the students was having a difficult time in yeshiva. He felt that others were doing so much better, and he was not being productive. After considerable thought, he decided that he would leave yeshiva and go to work.

Having made his decision, he kissed the mezuzah on the doorway of the yeshiva as if bidding it farewell. He then stopped off at the makolet to say goodbye. Ofir was surprised and said, “I want you to know that it is because of you that the world stands. We are all here only because of your zechus. I only wish I could sit and learn. It is impossible to measure the reward that you merit sitting and studying in yeshiva.”

The bachur was taken aback. “This is what Ofir thinks of me? He thinks I am so worthy and is singing my praises? How could I consider leaving the world of Torah?”

As he walked out of the store, his eyes welled up with tears. It is true, he thought to himself, that I find the Torah study challenging. Let me try, though, to remain in yeshiva at least until the end of the zman to give myself another chance, and see if I can possibly succeed. I can always leave at any time.

The bachur returned to yeshiva the next day, and continued to study diligently. Slowly he realized that he was actually experiencing success and fulfillment in his Torah learning.

During bein hazmanim (summer break), the bachur went home and penned a letter to Ofir to express how grateful he was to him, because his words had made such a difference in his life and he had been inspired to continue learning in yeshiva.

When the bachur returned to yeshiva after the summer break, his first stop was the makolet. However, he was disappointed to see that the store was closed. He asked a passerby where Ofir was, and the man said, “Didn’t you hear? Last week Ofir was suddenly niftar. Today is the last day of shiva.”

The bachur quickly ran to the home to be menachem avel, at which time he read to the entire gathered family the heartfelt words he had written. One expression of positive belief, one word of encouragement, of inspiration, has the power to produce thoughts of teshuva, and to redirect a person’s path in life.