When Those Around Us Despair

Photo Credit: courtesy, Sivan Rahav Meir

How do we remain optimistic when those around us despair?

In this week’s Torah portion, only two of the twelve spies – Yehoshua and Calev – did not despair after their 40-day tour of the land of Canaan. Ten spies saw the land and panicked, feeling threatened by the giants who lived there. They abandoned their dream, believing it would be a grave mistake to settle in the land of Israel. Only Yehoshua and Calev dared to oppose their thinking and declared: “The land is very, very good.” Today we recognize their foresight and courage.

What empowers an optimistic minority to stand firmly against a pessimistic majority? Rashi’s commentary provides insights, guiding us to look both to the past and to the future for strength.

Regarding the past, Rashi explains that Calev visited the graves of the patriarchs and the matriarchs in the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron. He prayed that he would not be influenced by the negative report of the ten spies. Calev’s faith in G-d’s promise to his nation was unwavering, and this conviction guided his actions. In the moment of crisis, he ignored the prevailing opinions, and instead sought inspiration from the Avot, and prostrated himself on the graves of Avraham and Sarah.

Regarding the future, the second spy in the minority was originally named Hoshea until Moshe Rabbeinu added a yud to his name, and changing it to Yehoshua, meaning “G-d will save.” Rashi points out that Moshe prayed for G-d to save Yehoshua from the counsel of the ten spies. From Yehoshua’s resilience, we learn the profound impact of a tzadik’s prayer. Thus, while Calev drew strength from the past, Yehoshua was saved through Moshe’s payer for the future.

When faced with uncertainty, confusion, or disillusionment due to current challenges, turning our thoughts positively towards the past and the future can empower us with perspective and inner strength. Our collective story is far more enduring than the immediate events may suggest.

Building Homes

“Shalom Sivan. This week, Major General (res.) Malchia Gross was laid to rest. He was 25 years old and lived in the community of Susya in the South Hebron Hills. I knew him and wanted to share something that others have not said much about: his burning desire to build a home and start a family.

“He would return from a stint of reserve duty for two or three days and divide his time between his house, his friends, and volunteer work at the organization Zichron Menachem, but he also found time for dating.

“Even if he had to go to the other end of the country to meet a date, he would do this with joy, knowing what is most important in life. He simply saw this as his present calling: to build a home and start a family.

“Even though it was difficult to keep in touch with a potential shidduch due to his continual army service, Malchia persisted in his quest.

“Unfortunately, now he will not have the privilege of building his home. I am writing this at a time when so many homes have been destroyed but, in Malchia’s merit, we should think of what we can do to help others build theirs.

“At this difficult time, we tend to forget those who are unmarried and lonely. Call them up, try to set them up with someone you know who might be appropriate. What do you have to lose? If you don’t have any suggestions, you can still pray that they find a lifetime partner.

“The following words of the prophet Jeremiah promise that out of destruction a multitude of homes will be built as new families flourish: So said the L-rd: There shall again be heard in this place, concerning which you say, It is desolate… in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem… the sound of mirth and the sound of joy, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride.

“May this be in his memory. I know what I’m going to do this week, do you?”

A Birthday Present

“Shalom Sivan,

“My name is Ravit and I’m the mother of Staff sgt. Dvir Resler who fell in battle on Simchat Torah. This week, the 17th of Sivan, was his birthday. We’ve been thinking about a fitting way to celebrate his special day and we decided to focus on the mitzvah that was such an intrinsic part of who he was: honoring his parents.

“Dvir was very close to us and we had wonderful conversations. He always helped out at home and showed us so much love. We thought we knew everything about him, but recently his friends shared some new and moving things about him that we didn’t know.

“We are a religious family; Dvir didn’t wear a kippah. When his friends would invite him to go out with them on Shabbat, he would say, “I can’t come with you – I know it would upset my mother.” They would then try to persuade him by saying, “We’re all going, your mother won’t even know.” He would answer. “Even if she never finds out about it, I don’t want to hurt my parents.”

“One Shabbat morning, for example, Dvir stood in front of a group of his friends before they left for a trip to the Kinneret and told them: “I’m not going. I need to respect my parents.” He was able to withstand this peer pressure yet his friends still accepted him and looked up to him as a leader. Now they tell us, “You were the most important thing in his life.”

“We encourage everyone reading this story to reflect on this important mitzvah and do something for your parents. Think about what you can do to make them happy, even something small like sending a bouquet of flowers, preparing coffee for them, inviting them for a meal, or even just sending them a thoughtful message on WhatsApp.

“To mark this day when Dvir was sent down to our world to fulfill his mission, we would like to give him a birthday present: We call on everyone to continue on his path of observing the mitzvah of honoring your parents with love.

“May we hear good news soon.”

Translation by Yehoshua Siskin and Janine Muller Sherr.

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